Greek Orthodox Funeral Traditions, Etiquette and Mourning

Greek Orthodox Funeral Traditions, Etiquette and Mourning

Only about 1% of US adults identify as Orthodox Christians, according to Pew Research Center's Religious Landscape Study. So if you've been invited to a Greek Orthodox funeral, or you're arranging one for the first time, it's normal to feel unsure about what happens and how to show respect.

The good news: Greek Orthodox funerals follow a clear, centuries-old order. Once you know the main steps, the service feels less like something to "get right" and more like a shared, prayerful goodbye. This guide explains each stage, the etiquette for guests, the 40-day memorial, and the key differences for families in the UK and US.

Quick Answer

A Greek Orthodox funeral is a church service of hymns, psalms and prayers held with the body present in an open casket. It usually begins with a Trisagion prayer at the wake, followed by the funeral service, a final farewell kiss, burial (not cremation) and a "mercy meal" called the makaria. Memorial services follow at 40 days and one year.

Table of Contents

What Is a Greek Orthodox Funeral?

A Greek Orthodox funeral is the Eastern Orthodox Church's service for a baptised Orthodox Christian who has died. It is sung and prayed rather than spoken, takes place in church with the body present, and focuses on asking God for mercy and rest for the person who has died, while comforting the living with the hope of resurrection.

The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America describes the service as a series of hymns, prayers and Scripture readings that express "mixed emotions of grief and consolation." There is no pressure to perform. The priest and chanters lead almost everything.

Greek Orthodox funerals share a lot with other Eastern Orthodox traditions (Russian, Serbian, Romanian, Antiochian and others). The main differences are language, music and some food and family customs.

What Greek Orthodox Christians Believe About Death

Orthodox Christians see death as a separation of the soul from the body, not the end of the person. They believe in the resurrection of the body, so the body is treated with great honour. Prayers for the dead are central: the Church teaches that the living can and should keep praying for those who have died.

Three ideas shape almost every custom you'll see:

  • The body is sacred. It was "the temple of the Holy Spirit," so it is buried, not cremated, and shown openly with care.
  • Prayer continues after death. That's why there are memorial services on set days for months and years afterwards.
  • Grief and hope sit together. The hymns openly mourn, but they also point to the resurrection.

For a wider view of how Christian traditions differ, see our guide to Christian beliefs on death and the afterlife.

Greek Orthodox Funeral Order: Step by Step

A Greek Orthodox funeral usually happens in four stages: the Trisagion prayers soon after death and at the wake, the funeral service in church, the burial with a short graveside service, and the makaria meal. The full church service often lasts about an hour, though timings vary by parish.

  1. Prayers at the time of death. The family calls the parish priest as soon as possible. Ideally the priest prays with the dying person and family before death.
  2. The Trisagion (wake). "Trisagion" means "thrice holy." This short service is usually held the evening before the funeral at the funeral home or church, with the casket open. It opens with "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us."
  3. The funeral service. Held in church, usually the next day. The casket is open and placed so the person faces east, toward the altar, according to parish funeral guidelines. The service includes Psalm 119, the Evlogitaria (funeral praises), readings from 1 Thessalonians 4 and John 5, and a short homily from the priest.
  4. The last kiss (Kiss of Peace). Near the end, family and guests file past the casket to say goodbye. Many kiss the icon or cross placed with the deceased. This is optional for guests.
  5. "Memory Eternal." The service closes with the hymn "May your memory be eternal" (in Greek, Eonia i mnimi).
  6. Burial. The procession goes to the cemetery for a brief Trisagion at the grave. The priest often blesses the grave and may sprinkle soil on the casket in the shape of a cross.
  7. The makaria. Family and guests share a meal, often with fish, and family members may share memories.

Are there eulogies at a Greek Orthodox funeral?

Usually not during the church service itself. Many parishes ask that family and friends give eulogies at the makaria instead, while the priest gives a short homily in church. Always check with the parish priest, as local practice varies.

Is the casket always open?

Open-casket is the norm. Parish guidelines allow a closed casket when there is visible trauma or a health risk. Embalming is not a religious requirement, and some parishes allow simple, eco-friendly options such as shrouds or wicker caskets. Learn more in our guide to open casket viewings.

Does the Greek Orthodox Church Allow Cremation?

No. The Greek Orthodox Church does not offer a church funeral for someone who chose to be cremated. Burial is the expected practice because the Church teaches respect for the body and belief in bodily resurrection. Families who are unsure should speak to their priest early, before any arrangements are made.

The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America explains that the funeral service "is written on the premise that a body is present," so it can't be held if the body has been cremated.

This matters because cremation is now the most common choice in both countries:

If a loved one has written cremation wishes but wants an Orthodox funeral, talk it through with the priest and family before anything is booked. Our guide to traditional burial explains what's involved.

Greek Orthodox Funeral Etiquette for Guests

Guests at a Greek Orthodox funeral should dress modestly in dark clothing, arrive early, follow what others do (standing and sitting), and stay quiet during the chanting. You don't need to be Orthodox to attend, kiss the icon or cross themselves. Simply being present and respectful is what the family will remember.

What to wear

  • Colours: Black, navy or dark grey. Close family often wear black.
  • Men: A dark suit, or dark trousers and a shirt with a tie or jacket.
  • Women: A modest dress or skirt and blouse covering the shoulders, with a knee-length or longer hem. Some women cover their hair, but guests are rarely expected to.
  • Avoid: Bright colours, casual wear, short hemlines and noisy jewellery.

During the service

  • Arrive 10–15 minutes early. Orthodox services often involve a lot of standing.
  • Follow the lead of the people around you. It's fine to stay seated if you need to.
  • Turn your phone off. Don't take photos unless the family has asked for them.
  • During the Kiss of Peace, you can file past and bow your head instead of kissing the icon or cross.
  • Non-Orthodox guests should not receive Holy Communion if a Liturgy is part of the day.

Flowers and gifts

Flowers are welcome, and white flowers are a common choice. Many families also ask for donations to the church or a charity instead. Avoid bringing food unless the family asks. For ideas, see funeral flower meanings and our guide to sympathy messages for flowers.

Can children attend?

Yes. Greek Orthodox families often bring children of all ages. Prepare them for the open casket and the length of the service, and sit near an aisle in case you need to step out.

What to Say at a Greek Orthodox Funeral

The most common words of comfort are "May their memory be eternal" or, in Greek, "Eonia i mnimi." Families may also say "Zoi se sas" ("life to you") to mourners. A simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" in English is always appropriate.

Phrase (Greek) Pronunciation Meaning When to use it
Αιωνία η μνήμη (Eonia i mnimi) eh-oh-NEE-ah ee MNEE-mee Memory eternal To the family, at the service, in cards
Ζωή σε σας (Zoi se sas) zoh-EE seh SAHS Life to you A wish of long life to mourners
Συλλυπητήρια (Sillipitiria) see-lee-pee-TEE-ree-ah Condolences A short, formal expression of sympathy
Ο Θεός να τον/την αναπαύσει (O Theos na ton/tin anapafsi) oh theh-OS nah ton/teen ah-nah-PAHF-see May God give him/her rest Spoken or written to close family

If you're not sure, keep it simple and sincere. Our guides to what to say at a funeral and what not to say can help.

The Makaria: The Mercy Meal After the Funeral

The makaria is the meal shared after the burial, sometimes called the "mercy meal." Fish is traditionally served, often with paximadia (twice-baked biscuits), brandy or coffee. It's a time to support the family, share stories and, in many parishes, give eulogies that weren't part of the church service.

The makaria is usually held in the church hall, a restaurant or the family home. Guests aren't expected to bring anything, but attending shows the family you care. If you're the one organising it, our guide to funeral repast invitations covers wording and timing.

Memorial Services: 40 Days, One Year and Beyond

Greek Orthodox families hold memorial services (mnimosyno) for the person who has died, most importantly at 40 days and one year. Some also mark the 3rd and 9th days, six months and the three-year anniversary. These short services are usually held after Sunday Liturgy, with a tray of kollyva blessed and shared.

When What happens How common
Wake (evening before) Trisagion prayers with the casket open Almost always
3rd and 9th day Short Trisagion or memorial prayers Some families
40th day Memorial service, usually on the nearest Sunday, with kollyva Almost always
6 months Memorial service Some families
1 year Memorial service with kollyva Almost always
Annually after Memorial on or near the anniversary; names also read on Saturdays of Souls Family choice

Sources: Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America; Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church funeral guidelines.

Why 40 days?

Forty days is a meaningful period across the Bible, and Orthodox tradition sees the first 40 days after death as an important time of prayer for the soul. For many families it also marks the end of the most intense period of mourning.

What is kollyva?

Kollyva is a dish of boiled wheat, usually mixed with sugar, nuts, sesame, pomegranate seeds and spices, then smoothed over with powdered sugar and decorated with a cross. The wheat recalls Jesus' words about a grain of wheat that dies and bears fruit (John 12:24), a symbol of resurrection. Parish guidelines note that kollyva is offered for those who received an Orthodox church funeral.

After the service, kollyva is shared in small bags or cups. If you're offered some, it's polite to accept and say "Eonia i mnimi."

Greek Orthodox Mourning Customs

Close family often wear black during the 40 days after a death, and some widows, especially older generations, wear black for a year or longer. Families usually avoid parties, weddings and celebrations during the first 40 days. Many light an oil lamp (kandili) at home or at the grave and visit the grave regularly.

  • Wearing black: Common for 40 days for close family; longer for spouses in traditional families.
  • Avoiding celebrations: Many families skip festivities until after the 40-day memorial.
  • Grave visits: Families tend the grave, light candles or a lamp, and bring flowers.
  • Saturdays of Souls: Special days in the church calendar when the names of the departed are read.
  • Annual remembrance: A memorial service near the anniversary, and names given to the priest to pray for.

Customs vary a lot between families, regions and generations, especially for Greek and Greek Cypriot families who've lived in the UK or US for decades. Ask the family rather than assume. Our guide to the Catholic mourning period shows how similar customs work in a related tradition, and our death anniversary quotes can help when the one-year memorial comes round.

Greek Orthodox Funerals in the UK vs the US

The religious service is the same in both countries, but paperwork, costs and the church structures differ. In the UK, Greek Orthodox parishes belong to the Archdiocese of Thyateira and Great Britain. In the US, most belong to the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. Both expect burial.

UK US
Church body Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of Thyateira and Great Britain (Ecumenical Patriarchate) Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America (Ecumenical Patriarchate)
Where communities are Largest in London, with a strong Greek Cypriot community, plus parishes in other cities Parishes across the country, with large communities in the Northeast, Midwest, California and Florida
Registering the death Within 5 days in England and Wales (8 in Scotland); the registrar issues the "green form" for burial (GOV.UK) Funeral director usually files the death certificate with the state; rules vary by state
Typical cost of a burial funeral £4,758 for a simple attended burial (SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2026) $8,300 median for a funeral with viewing and burial, or $9,995 with a vault (NFDA 2023 General Price List Study)
Consumer protection CMA Funeral Market Order requires funeral directors to show standardised prices FTC Funeral Rule requires itemised price lists
Repatriation Some families repatriate to Greece or Cyprus for burial; ask your funeral director about paperwork Some families repatriate to Greece; ask your funeral director and consulate

Costs above don't include a burial plot, headstone, church fees or the makaria, which can add significantly. Before committing, check the FTC Funeral Rule (US) or MoneyHelper's funeral cost guidance (UK). Our US and UK funeral cost breakdown goes into more detail.

Planning a Greek Orthodox Funeral: A Family Checklist

If you're arranging a Greek Orthodox funeral, contact the parish priest first, then a funeral director who has worked with Orthodox families. Agree the date with the church before booking anything else, confirm burial arrangements, and plan the makaria and the 40-day memorial early so the family isn't rushed.

  1. Call the priest. Ideally before death, and as soon as possible after.
  2. Choose a funeral director familiar with Orthodox practice (open casket, burial, facing east).
  3. Register the death and get the paperwork for burial. See our guide on what to do when someone dies.
  4. Agree the date and time with the parish. Some days in the church calendar aren't used for funerals, so check first.
  5. Arrange the burial plot. Our guide on how to buy a cemetery plot can help.
  6. Plan the Trisagion/wake for the evening before.
  7. Choose clothing for the deceased and any icon or cross to place in the casket.
  8. Book the makaria venue and menu (fish is traditional).
  9. Decide on flowers or donations and include it in the obituary.
  10. Book the 40-day memorial and arrange kollyva (some parishes or bakeries make it).

For a full planning list, see our step-by-step funeral planning guide.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Booking a crematorium before speaking to the priest. This can mean the church funeral can't go ahead.
  • Planning eulogies for the church service without checking. Many parishes want them at the makaria.
  • Bringing food to the family as a guest, unless asked.
  • Wearing bright colours or casual clothes.
  • Taking Communion if you're not Orthodox.
  • Forgetting the 40-day memorial. For many families it's as important as the funeral.

FAQs

How long is a Greek Orthodox funeral?

The church service usually lasts around 45 minutes to an hour. With the graveside prayers and makaria, expect to spend most of the day. The Trisagion at the wake is shorter, often 15–20 minutes.

What do you wear to a Greek Orthodox funeral?

Wear modest, dark clothing: black, navy or dark grey. Men usually wear a suit or dark trousers and a jacket. Women wear a modest dress or skirt and blouse with covered shoulders.

Can non-Orthodox people attend a Greek Orthodox funeral?

Yes. Everyone is welcome. Guests simply follow along, stand when others stand, and may choose whether to approach the casket. Only Orthodox Christians receive Communion.

Do Greek Orthodox people cremate?

The Greek Orthodox Church does not permit cremation for those receiving an Orthodox funeral. If someone is cremated, the church funeral service can't be held. Burial is the norm.

What is the 40-day memorial in Greek Orthodox tradition?

It's a memorial service held about 40 days after the death, usually on the nearest Sunday after Liturgy. Kollyva is blessed and shared, and it often marks the end of the most intense mourning period.

Do you bring flowers to a Greek Orthodox funeral?

Flowers are welcome, with white flowers a popular choice. Many families ask for donations to the church or a charity instead, so check the obituary or ask.

What do you say at a Greek Orthodox funeral?

"May their memory be eternal" (Eonia i mnimi) is the traditional phrase. "I'm so sorry for your loss" is always fine.

Why do Greek Orthodox funerals have an open casket?

The open casket lets loved ones say a final goodbye, including the Kiss of Peace, and reflects the honour given to the body. A closed casket is allowed for trauma or health reasons.

Final Thoughts

A Greek Orthodox funeral can feel unfamiliar at first, with its chanting, incense and open casket. But every part has a purpose: to pray for the person who has died, to honour their body, and to hold the family in a community that will keep remembering, at 40 days, at one year and beyond.

If you're a guest, dress modestly, follow the lead of those around you, and say "memory eternal." If you're arranging the funeral, start with the priest and take it one step at a time. You don't have to know everything. The church, and the people around you, will guide you.


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