Tender Tears: A Guide to Grief Activities for Kids
Grieving a loss is especially challenging for children and teens, who may face for the first time complex emotions like guilt, loneliness, and anger. If left unaddressed, these feelings can affect them long-term, shaping how they deal with grief in adulthood.
Everyone expresses grief differently and the below grief activities for kids and teens can address a range of responses to sorrow.
Young children might feel their grief physically, through symptoms like stomach aches or headaches. They could also become withdrawn and non-responsive.
Teenagers, on the other hand, are already navigating many changes in their lives. Adjusting to a life without the person they’ve lost is complex and painful even in the best of times. Grief can lead to difficulties focusing at home and in school.
Here’s how grief activities can help children reconcile with grief.
Family Therapy Activities and How Adults Can Help
Parents and guardians have a crucial role to play in supporting grieving children.
They should provide a safe environment to discuss their feelings and join them in meaningful bereavement activities.
Creative arts may help grieving kids express themselves non-verbally. Such structured activities encourage children to explore their memories, express feelings, and find healthy ways to reconcile with grief.
Physical activities can help the child relax and rediscover the joy of movement.
Certain grief activities for preschoolers resemble small rituals, fostering a sense of familiarity and intimacy, a headspace where being sad and commemorating the lost one is perfectly fine.
Here is a selection of 9 grief activities for children and their families.
1. Memory Box or Memorial Jar
A memory box is a place to keep objects connected to the departed — a favorite object of theirs, a photo, a gift, or anything else that makes sense.
Let the child choose a box, jar, or another sturdy container, decorate it, and add items that remind them of their connection with the departed.
If they don’t have anything, they can draw or write memories instead and store them in the memory box.
While assembling the box, parents can encourage the child to describe what each item means to them, and how it makes them feel.
- Materials needed: A box (any size works) or jar, memorabilia from the departed, colorful pens.
- Steps: Choose a box or a jar, slowly fill it up with meaningful objects.
2. Finish the Sentence
Open-ended sentences are one of the things to do when grieving for children who find it hard to speak about it. Prompts like, “If I could talk to the person who passed away, I would ask…” can help them express their feelings.
Other grief prompts include:
- The thing I remember the most…
- The most valuable thing you taught me is….
- I am sad when…
- When I am alone…
- Since she/he died, my friends…
- Since the death, my family does/doesn’t….
This activity gently encourages children to use words to explore their grief without being overwhelmed. Prompts focus the attention on certain aspects of grief, making it slightly more manageable.
3. Writing a Letter
Young children often struggle with the concept of death and closure. The idea of never being able to speak to their loved one again can be incomprehensible.
Even older children may find it hard to speak about bereavement during childhood.
Writing a letter is a direct way to say goodbye or, symbolically, talk to the departed one more time. Writing is a powerful way to structure one’s thoughts and express emotions that may be tough to speak about.
There are entire grief letter templates to help with this grief activity, but a simple prompt could be enough for the child to start. Again, open-ended prompts help:
- What I miss the most about you is…
- If I could play with you on…
- I really love(-d) when you…
- I miss you the most when…
The child should decide whether to keep the letter (in a memory box?) or leave it at the grave of the deceased, as a form of closure.
Parents should gently encourage their kid to read the letter to them, but they shouldn’t insist on it too much. The little one should decide.
- Materials needed: Pen and paper.
4. Making a Memory Bracelet
The memorial bracelet (or necklace) is a keepsake that can be worn or kept close. It serves as a lasting memory of the loved one and a reminder of shared memories.
Beading is known to reduce stress and promote calm, making it a wonderful activity for grieving children. This particular project can open conversations about loss in a gentle, creative way.
Children can create a bracelet to remember their loved one, choosing beads and designs that feel meaningful to them. Wearing the bracelet can help them feel connected to their loved one when they miss them.
- Materials needed: String or elastic, various beads (as simple or elaborate as you like), and other accessories for beading.
- Steps:
- Organize the beads on plates, bowls, or boxes for easy access.
- Have children pick beads that symbolize memories of the person who has passed, like favorite colors or the colors of a favorite sports team.
- As you add each bead, discuss its color, shape, and significance.
- Add additional beads that represent the child’s birth month, favorite holiday, or cherished memories of the person.
5. Drawing and Coloring for Grief
Drawing is among the most efficient grief therapy techniques for small kids, as their limited grasp of language can be offset by artistic expression.
Coloring and drawing can be an outlet for processing grief. Hand-drawn pictures can convey thoughts and feelings even if a child lacks the words to express them, while also providing a calming activity.
Don’t be too alarmed if the drawings are dark and confusing. They are a glimpse into the soul of the little one, who is experiencing turbulent emotions.
- Materials needed: Markers, crayons, or pencils, and paper. You can also download specific images for kids to color.
- Steps: Let the child freely doodle, color, or draw their thoughts. Assign emotions to colors or suggest themes like “How I’m feeling right now” or “How much I love [loved one’s name].”
6. Matching Emotions
For younger children, activities that pair emotions with facial expressions or actions can help build vocabulary around their feelings. This grief activity builds emotional intelligence and helps the young ones recognize their feelings.
Matching emotions may include matching words like “sadness” with “crying”. Alternatively, it can match certain emotions with pictures of facial expressions.
The activity is an opportunity for parents and children to discuss the emotions, where they come from, how they make us feel, and how to deal with them.
- Materials needed: Verbal prompts or photos or drawings of facial expressions in distinctive emotional states.
- Steps: Name an emotion and ask the child what action is associated with it. If using visual prompts, ask the child to name the emotion and then the most typical action it evokes.
7. Memory Jar Pot
When a child experiences a loss, it may feel as if their world has broken apart.
This grief activity provides a tangible way to express that emotional hurt, ending in a positive, affirming outcome.
The project can be done solo for older kids and adults or with friends and family for younger children.
- Materials needed: A terra-cotta pot, paint pens (or markers or paint), glue, towel, and safety goggles.
- Steps:
- Wear safety goggles (and gloves if desired)
- Break the terra cotta pot. To keep it from shattering, place a damp towel over it and gently tap it with a small hammer.
- Distribute the broken pieces among those participating.
- On the inner side of each piece, write words or paint symbols representing grief, sadness, anger, or other emotions.
- On the outer side, add words or drawings symbolizing support and comfort, such as the names of loved ones or comforting activities (art, reading, prayer, etc.)
- Glue the pieces back together, then let the pot dry for at least 24 hours before moving.
In the coming weeks and months, this restored pot will serve as a reminder that, though affected by loss, one can find support and healing over time.
8. Creating a Journal
The memory jar and the two activities that follow are suitable for grieving teens.
Journaling is a powerful tool for expressing emotions, being vulnerable, and processing grief. It is a highly personal experience and this privacy creates the safe space necessary to be alone with your feelings.
Grief journaling is more effective with the appropriate prompts, but even free-flowing writing helps untangle emotions and reconcile with grief.
If the child isn’t comfortable writing, they can also draw in their journal. This allows them to express their thoughts and emotions privately.
9. Reading
Reading age-appropriate books about loss can help older children and teens connect with their own feelings.
Stories may prompt them to share their experiences and questions and inspire conversations that build emotional courage and mindfulness.
Conclusion
It’s essential for grieving children to feel that their feelings are valid and that they’re allowed to express them in their way.
Children learn by observing adults, so modeling healthy behaviors around grief can help guide their healing process.
These grief activities allow kids and their parents a chance to grieve together in a supportive, open environment.
