How to Plan a Funeral: Step-by-Step Funeral Guide and Checklist

Funeral planning is taxing. The situation is emotionally taxing and the logistics often overwhelm families with stress and uncertainty. Managing numerous details can exacerbate an already difficult time

However, knowing how to plan a funeral can help create a clear, organized plan that removes a lot of uncertainty and provides much-needed relief and structured decision-making.

Our Endly funeral guide highlights the key steps to planning a funeral:

• Inform immediate family and legal representatives
• Check for funeral pre-arrangements or end-of-life checklist
• Decide on a burial or cremation
• Is a funeral home an option?
• Do you want to plan the funeral service or memorial yourself?
• Personalize the service: music, readings, and tributes
• Handle funeral expenses and financial considerations
• Continued remembrance and celebration

Our straightforward funeral guide will walk you through each crucial step of burial planning.

Inform Immediate Family and Legal Representatives

The initial steps after death are to:

• Contact the appropriate authorities, such as emergency services or medical professionals, whether the death happens at home or in a medical facility.
• Next, inform close family members with sensitivity and compassion.

Choose a quiet, comfortable setting and use clear, compassionate language if possible. For elderly relatives, offer support and be prepared to answer questions.

Use simple, age-appropriate terms and provide reassurance when talking to young children. Depending on their age, the concept of death may not be fully grasped.

Check for Pre-arrangements

Planning a funeral can be overwhelming, but this step can streamline the process significantly: check whether the deceased has prepared an end-of-life checklist.

This checklist may include specific preferences about the ceremony, proof of ownership of a burial plot, or a pre-paid funeral service.

These details can ease the planning process significantly, ensuring that the funeral aligns with their wishes.

However, if the deceased has died suddenly or simply hasn’t left written instructions, you’ll have to make a few crucial decisions.

How to Plan a Funeral; Schedule a Planning Meeting

Gather immediate family members who may be eager to help and who might know the deceased’s preferences.

When meeting to organize a funeral, choose whether to involve a funeral home and to what extent their services will be utilized. Important discussion points include:

• Transportation
• Storage of the body
• Type of ceremony
• Who will write the obituary
• Who will be invited to the ceremony

The first two points of discussion are practical necessities that are often best handled by funeral homes because they have both transportation and storage facilities. The rest are best discussed among family members who knew the deceased and their social circle well.

Gather Essential Documents

Having essential documents on hand ensures a smooth and efficient arrangement.

Key documents to prepare include:

• The deceased’s identification
• Health insurance information
• Any pre-planned funeral arrangements
• Birth certificate
• Marriage certificate (if applicable)
• Social Security card
• Military discharge papers (if applicable)
• Life insurance policy
• Will and testament

These documents are typically found in a safe deposit box, filing cabinet, or with a trusted family member.

Having these ready will help streamline the process, especially when researching local funeral directors, as it allows you to promptly provide accurate and necessary information. 

Gather Obituary Information

Compiling an obituary when making funeral arrangements is an essential way to celebrate and honor the deceased’s life. An obituary honors the deceased’s life and informs others of the service details. Key information to collect includes:

• Full name and date of birth
• Date of passing
• Key life events and achievements
• Names of surviving family members
• Details of the funeral service
• Charitable donation preferences

For detailed guidance on crafting a meaningful tribute, refer to our comprehensive guide on how to write an obituary. 

Burial or Cremation

Choosing between a burial vs cremation is a significant decision in funeral planning.

Burials offer a more traditional and durable option, while cremation, and even more so direct cremation, tend to be more affordable.

When deciding, consider the following points:

• Cost — Cremation is generally less expensive than burial.
• Religious and cultural beliefs — Some traditions strongly prefer one over the other.
• Environmental impact — Cremation and green burials are often considered more eco-friendly.
• Family preferences — Discuss with family members to honor collective wishes.

Importantly, neither direct cremation nor burial precludes having a proper ceremony with an obituary, to honor your loved one.

While the cremation or interment can be without invitees outside the immediate family, a meaningful memorial service can be scheduled at a later date. Such arrangements allow family and friends from afar to gather and commemorate their loved one.

The Easy Way to Arrange a Funeral: Through a Funeral Home

When selecting a funeral home or director, consider their experience, reputation, and the range of services they offer. It’s essential to choose someone who can provide the level of support you need, whether that’s handling all arrangements or assisting with the most pressing logistics

• Transportation of the deceased
• Storage of the body
• Procuring death certificate and other necessary paperwork

Funeral directors are mandatory in certain states but not all. For instance, states like New York and Pennsylvania, require the involvement of a licensed funeral director.

On the other hand, Colorado and New Mexico do not mandate the use of a funeral director, allowing families more flexibility in handling arrangements themselves.

A good funeral director is particularly handy with the paperwork, as they know the procedures inside out. They can manage everything from obtaining death certificates to arranging permits. Additionally, they can sort all the logistics and details surrounding the ceremony itself, ensuring a smooth and respectful service.

Research Local Options

When researching local funeral directors, start by conducting thorough online research. Visit funeral home websites to understand their services, and read reviews on platforms like Google, Yelp, and the Better Business Bureau to gauge customer experiences.

Check if they are accredited by industry associations such as the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA). Additionally, ask for recommendations from friends, family, or clergy members.

If the deceased has a burial plot, it is best to check with the cemetery first, as they may be working with specific burial homes.

The Federal Trade Commission’s funeral rule ensures that any funeral director you contact must provide quotes over the phone and a printed, detailed list of prices when you visit in person. This rule was made to protect consumers from potential overcharging and to ensure transparency in funeral service pricing.

These steps will help you make an informed decision during a difficult time. 

Meeting with Funeral Directors

When planning a funeral, schedule consultations with several funeral directors to compare their services, pricing, and options, and ask about their pricing packages, availability, and customization options to ensure they meet your needs.

Inquire about additional services like:

• Transportation
• Floral arrangements
• Ceremony planning
• Embalming

Also, ask about their experience with different types of funerals, their flexibility with special requests, and any hidden costs. A funeral checklist will help you plan and compare to make informed decisions that align with your preferences and budget.

Evaluating Services, Packages, and Pricing

When evaluating funeral services, it’s important to understand the variety of options offered by funeral homes. Common services include:

• Embalming, which preserves the body for viewing
• Transportation of the body
• Viewing arrangements, such as wakes or visitations
• Memorialization options, like ceremonies, tributes, and personalized keepsakes

Funeral homes may also offer additional services like obituary writing, coordination with clergy, and assistance with paperwork.

Funeral costs are typically structured in packages, combining goods and services into one price. These packages can vary widely, and sometimes they include more than you need or lack essential elements you want.

For example, a package might not include a gravestone or cemetery plot. It’s crucial to ask for an itemized list up front, with prices for each service or item, to clearly understand what you’re paying for. 

To budget effectively and compare pricing quotes, consider these tips: 

1. Request detailed quotes — Get itemized lists from multiple funeral homes to compare costs directly.
2. Understand the packages — Review what’s included in each package and identify any additional costs.
3. Check for hidden fees — Ask about any potential hidden fees or additional charges.
4. Prioritize needs — Focus on essential services and avoid unnecessary extras.
5. Consider all options — Don’t feel pressured to buy everything from one funeral home; sometimes, sourcing items separately can save money.

By taking these steps, you can ensure you’re making informed decisions that respect both your wishes and your budget.

Doing It Yourself: Plan the Funeral Service or Memorial

When planning a funeral service or memorial, start by evaluating the interests and values of the deceased. Consider their:

• Hobbies
• Religious or spiritual beliefs
• Cultural traditions

These, and anything else that comes to mind when you think of the departed, can inspire meaningful themes or motifs for the service.

For instance, if the deceased was passionate about gardening, a floral-themed service might be appropriate, along with a green burial. For someone deeply religious, incorporating specific rituals and prayers can be a fitting tribute.

Choosing the right venue is also crucial. The usual options include:

• Funeral home chapel 
• Religious institution
• Outdoor venue like a garden or park

Select a date and time that accommodates family members, their work schedules and travelling requirements, and allows sufficient time for planning and preparation.

When coordinating a funeral service, creating an outline or program helps everything run smoothly. Include elements such as music, readings, eulogies, and rituals. Music can range from the deceased’s favorite songs to hymns and gospel.

Readings might include poems, scriptures, or personal letters. Eulogies should reflect on the deceased’s life and character, ideally delivered by those who knew them well.

Personal touches and meaningful tributes will honor the memory of the deceased. They could be:

• Photo displays
• Memory tables with cherished items
• Guests sharing stories

Lighting candles or releasing balloons can also be symbolic acts that add a personal dimension to the service.

By thoughtfully choosing the right elements, you can create a heartfelt and memorable tribute that truly reflects the life and passions of your loved one.

Personalizing the Service: Music, Readings, and Tributes

When organizing a funeral, personalizing the service honors the deceased’s unique life and values. But first, you should choose the general type of funeral service:

• Religious — Incorporates specific rituals and prayers.
• Military — Honors the deceased’s service with military rites.
• Fraternal — Includes traditions from organizations like the Freemasons.
• Green — Focuses on eco-friendly practices.
• Church funeral services — Held in a church, reflecting the deceased’s faith and community.

Some of the choices will be befitting the deceased well.

But then you’ll have to organize the logistics and the service program.

Choose a Resting Place

If the deceased does not own a burial plot, choosing and buying one will be a significant decision.

Start by considering the deceased’s wishes and family preferences. Research local cemeteries and compare their costs, locations, and available amenities.

Visit potential sites to assess their upkeep and atmosphere. Inquire about rules regarding headstones, decorations, and plot maintenance. Consider proximity to family members for ease of visits and sharing memories at the funeral.

Select a Casket or Urn 

When selecting a casket or urn, consider the deceased’s preferences and budget, as well as whether they would prefer a traditional burial or an alternative like a mausoleum.

For cremations, choose an urn according to how you want to dispose of the ashes. Research your options and consult a funeral planning guide for detailed advice.

Floral Arrangements and Decorations

Choosing the right funeral flowers involves selecting arrangements that reflect the deceased’s personality and preferences.

Popular options include lilies, roses, and carnations, which symbolize love and respect. Funeral wreaths are a traditional choice, representing eternal life. DIY funeral flower arrangements are another powerful way to pay your respects while gaining closure, so it may be a good idea to share with the grieving.

Selecting Meaningful Music

Including meaningful funeral music in the funeral order can create a heartfelt and memorable tribute. Choose favorite songs of the deceased or such that reflect their personality and spirit. A beloved rock song could celebrate their vibrant personality, for instance.

Consider incorporating live music, recorded songs, or hymns that hold special significance for the family. Options like classical pieces, favorite contemporary songs, or gospel music for funerals can add a personal touch.

Readings and Scriptures 

Meaningful funeral readings, poems, scriptures, or passages could evoke the spirit of the deceased and provide immense comfort to their family.

Popular options include Psalm 23, “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep,” and excerpts from other religious texts.

For those holding a rosary service, incorporating relevant prayers and scriptures can enhance the experience.

These readings can add depth and personal significance to the service. Including thoughtful funeral scriptures can help create a touching and memorable tribute.

Sharing Memories and Tributes 

When deciding how to arrange the funeral, incorporating the sharing of memories and tributes allows family and friends to celebrate the life of the deceased. Encourage attendees to share stories, anecdotes, and personal reflections that highlight the deceased’s character and impact.

 Creating a Slideshow Tribute:

• Collect photos and videos from family and friends that capture key moments and milestones.
• Select meaningful music to accompany the slideshow, such as the deceased’s favorite songs or hymns.
• Use slideshow software to arrange the images and videos in a coherent, chronological order.
• Add captions or quotes to enhance the emotional impact.

Setting Up a Memorial Table:

• Display cherished items and memorabilia that represent the deceased’s passions and hobbies, such as sports equipment, musical instruments, or art.
• Include framed photos, personal mementos, and awards or certificates.
• Provide a guestbook where attendees can leave messages of condolence and remembrance, creating a tangible keepsake for the family.

A dedicated photographer could discreetly capture the service, ensuring these memories are preserved. However, this is a personal choice and can be omitted if it feels intrusive. 

Remember, a memorial service can be held independently of the actual interment, providing flexibility in planning and allowing more time for family and friends to gather. 

Understanding how long a funeral takes to plan, from a couple of days to even weeks, grants you enough time to plan a well-organized and meaningful tribute to your loved one.

Handling Funeral Expenses and Financial Considerations 

A funeral cost breakdown typically includes funeral home fees, cemetery costs, transportation expenses, and additional services such as embalming, flowers, and obituary notices.

 Funeral home fees can cover services like:

• Body preparation
• Viewings
• The funeral ceremony

 Cemetery costs might include:

• The purchase of a burial plot
• Grave opening and closing fees
• Headstone installation

 Transportation expenses often involve moving the deceased from the place of death to the funeral home and then to the burial site. 

Funeral costs can vary greatly depending on location, service options, and personal preferences. For example, a traditional burial generally costs more than cremation, and prices are higher in urban areas compared to rural ones.

To manage the funeral costs, consider potential sources of financial assistance. Burial insurance can help cover costs, while government benefits, such as Social Security death benefits or veterans’ benefits, can provide additional support.

Crowdfunding campaigns are also an increasingly popular way to raise funds. It’s important to understand eligibility requirements and how to apply for these financial assistance programs. 

Honoring the Memory: Continued Remembrance and Celebration

Honoring the memory of a loved one goes beyond planning a funeral service; be sure to also reflect on the happy memories and special moments shared with the deceased, carrying forward their legacy, traditions, values, and passions that were important to them. This could involve annual gatherings in their memory, engaging in activities they loved, or supporting causes they were passionate about. These acts of remembrance and celebration help keep their spirit alive and provide comfort to friends and family.