How to Write an Obituary: A Guide to a Meaningful Tribute
It’s not uncommon to get writer’s block when trying to figure out how to write an obituary after losing someone close to you. How do you surmise one’s life in a few hundred words? Where do you begin? What matters the most?
We’ve compiled a list to guide you through it when you can’t think straight or see through your tears. Read through and:
- Understand the essential elements of an obituary
- How to gather information
- Adhere to the deceased’s wishes and preferences
- Speak to the family and close friends
- Decide on tone and style will help gather your thoughts.
Then simply focus on writing the obituary one section at a time. Its basic structure includes:
- Death announcement
- Major accomplishments
- A tribute message
- Service details
If you get stuck, take a breather and return to it when you feel calmer and more clear-headed.
Purpose of an Obituary
An obituary is a brief tribute that announces a person’s death and provides a concise account of their life, accomplishments, and personal traits. Typically written during intense grief, it serves to honor the deceased and inform the community of their passing.
Making even a short obituary can be emotionally challenging, and it requires a delicate balance between capturing the person’s essence and respecting the grieving process.
How to Make an Obituary — The Essential Elements
Here is an overview of what to include when writing an obituary. The provided framework captures the essential facts of a person’s life and gives enough room to focus on their achievements and personality.
- Full name
- Age
- Date of birth
- Place of birth
- Date of death
- Place of death
- Account of life achievements
- Immediate family members, alive and passed away
- Poem or special message (optional)
- Service details
Beyond reporting dates and names, gathering information that tells the story of the deceased’s life is what makes an obituary a unique, meaningful tribute.
Highlight remarkable experiences, relationships, and contributions to capture the personality behind the name. By delving deeper into the narrative of their life, we can create a heartfelt tribute that does justice to their life.
We explore practical ideas for gathering this information while respecting etiquette during times of mourning.
Planning Obituary and Gathering of Information
The most vital information in an obituary consists of factual details such as the person’s full name, date of birth, and date of death. Consider including more information about immediate family members and those preceded in death.
A brief obituary may have nothing more than the announcement of death and service details.
However, a proper tribute stretches beyond mere facts. In the following subsections, we will explore how to gather information about the deceased’s life, accomplishments, and personal anecdotes to create a meaningful obituary.
It’s also helpful, when planning, to understand when obituaries come out.
The Deceased’s Wishes and Preferences
It is essential to honor the deceased’s wishes in an obituary. If they have made a detailed end-of-life workbook or planning checklist, there may be indications of the type of obituary they would prefer. Pay attention to any instructions they have provided or conversations you have had regarding their wishes.
Other than that, talking to them and knowing them in life can provide invaluable insight into their preferences.
By respecting their choices, you can ensure that the obituary reflects their spirit and helps celebrate their life in a way they would have wanted.
Speak to the Family and Close Friends
When gathering information for an obituary, a sibling or child of the deceased often takes on this task.
During a time of profound grief, accessing other family members to share stories and perspectives that stay vivid in their minds can be relatively easy, but it has to be done tactfully. Close friends, neighbors, and fellow members of clubs or activities can provide personal stories for an obituary and enrich the heartfelt portrait of one’s life.
Remember, obituaries often have publication costs and time restrictions, so it is essential to plan accordingly.
Deciding on the Tone and Style of the Obituary
After gathering sufficient information, the writer must decide on the appropriate tone and style for the obituary. It should reflect the deceased’s personality while avoiding offending those left behind.
Family members could provide input on whether a formal or informal tone is more suitable within the proper obituary format.
The final version should align with the individual’s life and legacy, ideally, capturing their character and celebrating the departed’s life.
How to Write an Obituary: The Structure and the Process
When writing a memorable obituary, it is important to include essential facts, regardless of length. Even in brief obituaries, try to tell a story that leaves a positive message for those left behind.
Reflect on how you, as the writer, will forever remember the deceased and what characteristics or activities stand out the most.
Here is a step-by-step guide on creating a memorable obituary, ensuring that the person’s legacy is appropriately honored and cherished.
Structuring the Obituary
When choosing the right style for an obituary, begin with a compelling lead that captures the essence of the person’s life. Something that anyone who knew them would instantly recognize.
Include critical facts such as dates and places of birth and death, as well as details about the cause of death, whether sudden or after a prolonged illness. Mention those who preceded them in death, such as a spouse, siblings, or children, and highlight those who will mourn their loss and the reasons why.
This obituary structure combines essential information with a meaningful tribute to the departed’s character.
Highlighting Major Life and Accomplishments
Major life achievements in obituaries can include professional milestones, educational accomplishments, community involvement, and significant hobbies or interests.
Quirks of character and memorable peculiarities that made them who they were also can find their way into the tribute. This part of the obituary should be heartfelt and sincere, able to evoke tears in the reader, whether of joy or sadness.
The goal is to homage to the individual’s legacy by showcasing their accomplishments and unique traits.
You can include a special message that adds a unique touch to honor the deceased in the obituary. It could be a heartfelt poem, a personal anecdote, or a meaningful quote.
Photos or videos, mostly suited for online obituaries, can provide a visual tribute to the person’s life. These elements allow for a more personal and memorable connection.
Service Details
To conclude the obituary, include the specific location, date, and time of the funeral or memorial service. It’s important to mention the desired attire for attendees and specify whether flowers or other sympathy gifts are accepted.
If the family — or the deceased — prefers donations to a charity instead of flowers, provide the relevant details about the charity. Give clear instructions to ensure that individuals who wish to pay their respects or offer condolences can do so appropriately, in accordance to the family’s preferences.
Editing and Proofreading the Obituary
Editing is a crucial step in writing a suitable obituary (or any other form of writing, for that matter).
First, proofread the obituary to ensure accuracy in detail, proper grammar, and punctuation.
Then read the obituary aloud while editing and begin by trimming non-essential words and optimizing the language to make it concise and impactful.
This careful editing process ensures that the obituary is well-crafted, effectively communicates the intended message, and maintains clarity. Taking the time to refine and polish the obituary will result in a well-written tribute that properly commemorates the deceased.
Publishing and Sharing the Obituary
When publishing and sharing the obituary, it is vital to choose appropriate print and online platforms that reach the intended audience.
Consider whether the obituary should be shared publicly or limited to specific groups or communities. The modern obituary publication methods allow you to reach the right audience with relative ease.
Conclusion
In theory, you should already know how to write an obituary. Remember that an obituary can be concise, focusing on informing about the person’s death. However, it should always include at least a sentence or two about their life, achievements, and the impact they had.
All the same, in times of grief researching and writing may come much harder than usual. Hiring a professional obituary writer is another way to go.
But if you have the fortitude of spirit, crafting one yourself may have a profound healing effect that puts things into perspective and provides closure.
